Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day 2: Man = Master


Throughout history, women have been portrayed in a very specific idea of perfection. But who is this person who first decided how women should look? We don't know, but what we are certain on is that this person or persons are men. Men control the way we feel about ourselves completely as we strive to fill their idea of perfection, to make us feel better about ourselves. Which is why on day two, the rules were simple:


So when I let my boyfriend tell me exactly how he wanted me to look, I did not know what to expect. He chose: 
Blue jeans
White takkies
A checked shirt
A grey cardigan

It was far from anything that I would have chosen for myself. The only reason why I have those takkies is because I am a Hip Hop dancer, so I use them to practice in. And I felt like a scary carpet-muncher wearing them with a pair of jeans and a shirt. But what was interesting, is that the clothes that he picked out for me were comfortable on my body. Although I felt emotionally strange in this outfit, the actual clothes were easy to move in. It was a simple outfit, with no statements to be made, which made me feel like he chose them because he felt I didn't need the extra adjustments that fashion statements allow for, because he was happy with who I already was. This comforting thought, made the clothes feel even more comfortable on my body. 

And at college, no-one was the wiser. Nobody noticed the drastic change in style, and when I told people about the morning's rule, they seemed quite impressed with my boyfriend's choice, and were surprised when I told them that I thought I looked like a lesbian.

So the conclusion that I make today is one that I find rather embarrassing. Sure, society has strict rules about how we should look for our men - But do men even notice that our hair is straight and that we have new earrings on? Not really. And do men actually prefer women who look comfortable and approachable in what they are wearing, as opposed to stiff and miserable looking women all faked up from head to toe? I think so. But to me, what I experienced today led me to realize that what makes a woman attractive, is when she doesn't care whether she is found to be attractive or not. It is when we are in our completely natural state, that we are the best that we can be. 

"We don’t need Afghan-style burquas to disappear as women. We disappear in reverse—by revamping and revealing our bodies to meet externally imposed visions of female beauty."

Source: Robin Gerber, author and motivational speaker